is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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