Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
