your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
