He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
