is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
