don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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