Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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