i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my shit smells like andre
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
