I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
