I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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