Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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