We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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