the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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