I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
