if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I need moral support for this bender
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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