"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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