just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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