There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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