just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
