Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
