I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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