i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
