I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
