We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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