she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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