i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
