She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
