Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
