you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
