No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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