I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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