That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
