We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
