the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
