Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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