Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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