You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
