we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
