Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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