Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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