I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
