He is such a slut. More and more my type.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
