so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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