Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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