If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
