Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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