Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
