We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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