Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
