Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
