So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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