Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
