can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am midnight drunk by noon
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
