I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
