This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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