I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
