East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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