he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
